Author Topic: Pope Francis answer to "Is it Possible to Love One Another Forever?  (Read 1333 times)

viclahoz

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On Feb. 14, Pope Francis met with a group of Engaged Couples to answer some question.  Here is the un-official English Translation:

“Is it possible to love one another forever”?
Pope Francis’ meeting with the engaged couples – February 14, 2014

 Your Holiness, today many people think that a promise of faithfulness for life is a very difficult undertaking; many feel that the challenge of living together forever is beautiful, fascinating, but too demanding, almost impossible. We would like to ask what you can say about this in order that we may be enlightened.

These are the words of Pope Francis:
I thank you for your testimony and question. Let me tell you that they have sent me these questions in advance. One can understand this. And so I was able to reflect and think of an answer which is more solid. It is important to ask oneself if you can love "forever". This is a question we have to ask: "Is it possible to love one another always'" Today so many people are afraid to make definitive decisions, a boy told his bishop: "I want to become a priest but only for 10 years" he was afraid of a decisive choice. But it is a general fear, typical of our own culture. Making choices for one’s whole life seems to be impossible. Today, everything changes quickly, nothing lasts for long. And this mentality leads many of those who are preparing for marriage to say: "let us remain together as long while love lasts/endures".  And then this is followed by many greetings and "see you later" and thus this is how the marriage ends up. What is this, is this only a feeling/sentiment, a psycho-physical state? Certainly, if this is how it is, it will not be able to construct anything over something that is solid. But if love is a relationship/rapport, then it is a reality that grows, and we can also say, by way of example, that it like building a house/home. It grows and is built as a house/home. And the house/home is built together, not alone/separately. To build here means to favor/encourage and help its growth. Dear engaged couples, you have been preparing to grow together, to build this house/home, to live together forever. Surely you don't want to build on sand made of feelings that come and go, but on the rock of true love, love that comes from God. The family is born from this project of love that wants to grow as a house is being built, which is a place of affection, help/assistance, hope and support/sustenance.

All together: affection, help/assistance, hope and support/sustenance. As the love of God is stable and forever, we also want that the love, which is the foundation of the family, to be stable and for always. Please, we must not let ourselves be overcome by the "culture of temporary/provisional things"!  This culture that today invades us all. This culture of the temporary/provisional things does not go (is not good)!

So how do we cure this fear of the "forever"? 
It has to be cured day by day by entrusting ourselves to the Lord Jesus in a life that becomes a daily spiritual journey daily, made up of small steps of growing up together, made up of a commitment to become mature men and women in our faith. Dear engaged couples, it is because "forever" is not only a question of how long! A marriage is not only successful if it lasts, but its quality is important. To stay together and knowing how to love each other forever is the challenge of Christian spouses.  It makes me think of the miracle of the multiplication of the bread: also for you, the Lord can multiply your love and give it back to you fresh and good, every day. He has an infinite provision of this! He gives you the love that is the foundation of your union and every day renews it, reinforces it. AND makes it even greater when the family grows with the children. In this journey prayer is important and necessary. Always! He prays for her and she prays for him, and both of them pray together. Ask Jesus to multiply your love. In the prayer of Our Father we say: "Give us this day our daily bread". Married couples can also learn to pray this way: "Lord, give us this day our daily love", because the daily love of the spouses is the bread, the true bread of the soul that sustains them to go forward. Let us try this in order that we will know if we can say it: "Lord, give us this day our daily love", all together! This is the prayer of the engaged and married couples. Teach us how to love one another, to love one another! The more you entrust yourselves to Him, the more your love will be "forever", capable of renewing itself, and will win over every difficulty. This is what I thought my answer to you should be (turning towards the couple who had asked the question ... ), in response to your question, thank you.

Your Holiness, living together every day is beautiful, it gives much joy, it sustains us. But it is a big challenge. We believe that we need to learn how to love each other. Is there a "style" of life for couples, a daily spirituality that we can learn. Can you help us in this, Holy Father?

Living together is an art, a patient journey, beautiful and fascinating. It doesn't end when you have won one another and in fact, it is precisely then that it begins! This journey wherein each day has its rules that can be summed up in these three words, which you have spoken of, words that I have repeated many times to families: permission (wherein you say 'may/can I'), thanks and apologies.
(May/Can I?) “Permission"
It is the kind/gentle request to be able to enter into the life of someone else with respect and attentiveness. We must learn to ask in this manner: can I do this? Would you like it if we do it this way? That we take this initiative, that we educate the children this way? Would you like to go out this evening?… Basically, to ask permission means knowing how to enter into the lives of others with courtesy. Listen to this well, "Learning how to enter in the lives of others with courtesy!" And this is not easy!  Sometimes you use this kind of behavior a little heavy, as when you use certain mountain boots! True love does not impose with hardness and aggressiveness. In the ‘Fioretti di san Francesco’ (Selected Writings of St Francis) this expression is found: "May you learn that kindness is one of the properties of God ... AND that courtesy is the sister of charity, which turns off hatred and preserves love" (Chap.  37). Yes, courtesy preserves love. And today, in our families, in our world, which is often violent and arrogant, there is a need for great courtesy. And this can begin at home.
"Thank You".
 It seems so easy to say this word, but we know that this is not the case… But this is important! We teach this to our children, but then we forget it! Gratitude is an important feeling/sentiment. An elderly woman once said to me in Buenos Aires: "gratitude is a flower that grows in noble land". The nobility of the soul is necessary so that this flower will grow. Remember the Gospel of Luke? Jesus heals ten lepers and then only one comes back to say thanks to Jesus.  And the Lord says: where are the other nine? This also applies to us: do we know how to say thank you? In your relationship, and in your married life tomorrow, it is important to be always aware that the other person is a gift of God, and to these gifts of God we should always say thank you! To these gifts of God we should always say thank you! And with this inner attitude we should say thank you to each other, for everything. Is it not a good word to use also with strangers, to be educated. Learn how to say thank you to each other, to go forward together well in married life.
"Excuse me/I’m sorry".
 In life we make so many mistakes, so many mistakes. We make them all. But perhaps there is a person here who has never made a mistake? Raise your hand if there is anybody. A person who has never made a mistake. We all do it, all of us. Perhaps there is no day in which we do not make a mistake. The Bible says that the most just person sins seven times a day. And so we make mistakes. Here, then, is the need to use this simple word: "excuse me/I’m sorry".  In general each of us is ready to accuse the other, and to justify ourselves. But this was started by our father, Adam: when God asked him, "But, Adam, did you eat of that fruit." "But…me, no …that is what she gave me."  Accusing the other so as not to say "excuse me", "forgive me".  It is an old story. It is an instinct that is at the origin of so many disasters. Let us learn to recognize our mistakes and to apologize. "Excuse me if I have raised my voice"; "excuse me if I passed by without greeting you"; "excuse me if I am late", "if this week I have been so quiet", excuse me “if I have spoken too much without even listening"; "excuse me if I forgot ... "excuse me, I was so angry and I took it on you", so many "excuses" that we can say each day. A Christian family can also grow in this way. We all know that there is no such thing as the perfect family, and even the perfect husband, or a perfect wife. Let us not talk about the perfect mother-in-law. We exist us sinners. Jesus, who knows us well, teaches us a secret: never end the day without asking forgiveness, without making peace come back in our home, in our family. It is a habit between spouses to be arguing … perhaps you get angry, perhaps plates/dishes go flying, but, please, remember this: never end the day without making peace, never! This is a secret to preserve love. And to make peace, it is not necessary to make a nice speech, no, sometimes a gesture like this …(Pope Francis pats himself N.d.r ) and peace is made. If you end the day without making peace, whatever you may have within you, the day after will be cold, it is hard and more difficult to make peace. Remember this well: never end the day without making peace. If we learn to ask ourselves for pardon and to forgive each other, the marriage will last and it will go on. When spouses who are celebrating their 50th anniversary come and hear Mass at Santa Marta, I am ask them this question: "who support/sustains whom'" They all look at each other, then they look at me and say: "both of us" and this is beautiful, this is beautiful testimony.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2014, 05:31:29 PM by Merida »

CaritasNumquamExcidit

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Re: Pope Francis answer to "Is it Possible to Love One Another Forever?
« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2014, 08:53:56 PM »
Yes, I still believe in true love, love that lasts forever. As Scripture says, caritas numquam excidit. Love never ends. :)

wordofthelight

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Re: Pope Francis answer to "Is it Possible to Love One Another Forever?
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2014, 10:35:06 PM »
Amen.  :)
Accept Death.
Serve Life.
That's the way of things.
The way of the Force.

I am the Great X!

Amen.

maycontinant

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This post is very good news to post here. I read, I'm feeling that overtook the world.

tanhornet

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Re: Pope Francis answer to "Is it Possible to Love One Another Forever?
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2015, 11:50:40 AM »
I read this story I'm many times. Every undertakings I do not know the miraculous.

Ritsompong

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Re: Pope Francis answer to "Is it Possible to Love One Another Forever?
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2017, 01:34:30 PM »
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