Author Topic: Help! Problematic Co-Servant  (Read 1774 times)

loveofthelight

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Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« on: February 05, 2014, 04:10:07 PM »
Hi,

I am a member of a charismatic community and I happened to be one of the ministry heads. Meron po kaming naging problematic member. At first po nakikita namin nagiimprove sya. Pero one day, biglang bumalik sya sa "old life" nya. I discovered that it is because of his anger sa isang co-servant namin. (Well meron pa po palang deeper hurt na pinaghuhugutan.) Things got worst, he disrespected me, his other co-servants, and our ministry. Then he left. I felt so guilty and depressed kasi as a head, I wasn't able to do something to keep him. But I continued to pray for him. Then just last sunday, to my surprise, nandun po sya sa prayer meeting. He asked for forgiveness and he wants to serve again. Syempre po apology accepted and we are glad na his back.

My concern is, he keeps on cursing in different social media networks, and doing his vices. Natatakot naman na po akong pagbawalan or sitahin kasi ayoko na po sya ulit umalis sa community namin.

ANo pong dapat kong gawin? Okay lang po ba yung nafefeel ko?

(counted as relationship naman po to di ba? or dapat romantic reationship lang posts dito? hehe)
« Last Edit: February 05, 2014, 04:13:22 PM by loveofthelight »

wordofthelight

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Re: Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2014, 05:16:58 PM »
Well, sitahin in a way na hindi siya mao-offend. ;)
Accept Death.
Serve Life.
That's the way of things.
The way of the Force.

I am the Great X!

Amen.

Mary Hao

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Re: Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« Reply #2 on: February 06, 2014, 02:39:32 AM »
If you are really one of the head, you are responsible for him because he is a member of your charismatic community in the first place right? Why not make sanctions against him for the things he is doing? The effective thing is to act as a community and not just you. You said it is a community right? Then, the community is already a Church and no doubt about that for it is a charismatic community. Gather the church members and plan to rectify your erring brother on what must be rectified in him. Choose to be brave. As a head like you, one must have the balls to do what must be done. I suggest you go to the Gospel that have the "A Brother Who Sins", then read it, then act on it. :D

loveofthelight

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Re: Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« Reply #3 on: February 06, 2014, 10:53:58 AM »
@wordofthelight any suggestion how? :D


@Mary Hao - Yep. Ginawa ko na po yun. Kagaya ng sa gospel. Nagmatigas din ako before. I treated him they way he treats others. Tough love kumbaga.  And that's one reason why he left. Because people started talking to him about his actions. And hindi nya yun nagustuhan. He even said na "kakausapin na naman ako". Even mga Kuya na nirerespeto talaga sa community kinausap na sya. Nagbago lang sya saglit pero after a few days/weeks balik na naman sa dati.


Merida

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Re: Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« Reply #4 on: February 06, 2014, 11:44:03 AM »
Hi,

I am a member of a charismatic community and I happened to be one of the ministry heads. Meron po kaming naging problematic member. At first po nakikita namin nagiimprove sya. Pero one day, biglang bumalik sya sa "old life" nya. I discovered that it is because of his anger sa isang co-servant namin. (Well meron pa po palang deeper hurt na pinaghuhugutan.) Things got worst, he disrespected me, his other co-servants, and our ministry. Then he left. I felt so guilty and depressed kasi as a head, I wasn't able to do something to keep him. But I continued to pray for him. Then just last sunday, to my surprise, nandun po sya sa prayer meeting. He asked for forgiveness and he wants to serve again. Syempre po apology accepted and we are glad na his back.

My concern is, he keeps on cursing in different social media networks, and doing his vices. Natatakot naman na po akong pagbawalan or sitahin kasi ayoko na po sya ulit umalis sa community namin.

ANo pong dapat kong gawin? Okay lang po ba yung nafefeel ko?

(counted as relationship naman po to di ba? or dapat romantic reationship lang posts dito? hehe)

I've been in the ministry of pastoring the young for years now and I can say that what you feel is perfectly valid. Siyempre, gusto natin as servant-leaders na maging okay ang mga buhay ng mga taong pinagkaloob sa atin ni Lord. Nakakafrustrate minsan pero maganda din na matandaan natin na tayo ay instrumento lamang. Si Lord parin ang magliligtas. Kung nagawa mo na sa tingin mo ang lahat, mainam na ipagdasal mo siya ng matindi. Alam naman ni Lord kung ginawa mo na lahat para sa Kanya at para sa member mo kaya Siya na ang bahala. Tandaan din natin na laging "in His perfect time." May kanya kanya tayong level ng spiritual growth and hindi natin dapat bigyan ng time-frame ang pag-grow sa pananampalataya ang mga members natin. :)

Naniniwala din ako sa "loving correction." Kapag may mali kang napapansin sa tao, set a one-to-one session and pray for the right words to say. Maganda na simulan sa dasal tapos affirm mo siya na talagang tinatawag siya pabalik ng Diyos sa community. Tanda yun ng pagrespond sa pagmamahal ni Lord. Tapos, sabihin mo na "concerned talaga ako sayo kasi kaibigan kita..." and then sabihin mo yung napapansin mo.

Always, always do things with love. Without judging the person. Pwede kasi na di natin napapansin na baka in our heads, nahuhusgahan na natin ang kapwa natin. Pero kung ang motibo lang talaga ay pagmamahal, mararamdaman yun ng kausap natin.

Sakaling magreact siya ng kakaiba at magalit, at least nagawa mo ang tama at ang nararapat. Di naman natin mapleplease ang lahat ng tao. Pero gaya nga ng sabi ko, kung ang motibo ay pagmamahal, for sure si Lord ang naplease natin.

Be there for your member to be a listening ear and someone he can run to knowing he/she will not be judged.
The fact he/she returned to community means he is opening his heart to the God who reveals and that's a good sign! Be an instrument of love and God's revelation.

What works every time for me is...prayer. I'd pray for this person's conversion knowing God will reveal Himself in a manner that he will not be able to resist to respond to His love. It will still be the member's choice though if he will allow God to fully consume Him with love. It is also his choice to remain in the community or leave. Again, we are but instruments. :)

« Last Edit: February 06, 2014, 11:48:50 AM by Merida »
"yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me;
insofar as I now live in the flesh,
I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me
and given Himself up for me."
-Galatians 2:20

loveofthelight

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Re: Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2014, 12:05:15 PM »
He is included in my everyday prayer. Thank you po for this. Big help  ;D

wordofthelight

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Re: Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2014, 06:11:24 PM »
Ano pa ba masasabi ko?  Amen na lang.  Hahaha!

Nice one Mary Hao and Merida!

Continue praying loveofthelight. ;)
Accept Death.
Serve Life.
That's the way of things.
The way of the Force.

I am the Great X!

Amen.

kreggy

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Re: Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2014, 10:07:05 PM »
I think kelangan mo lang mag relax. inhale-exhale. pinapagod molang sarili mo. kung pati mga respetado't matataas na tao sa community nyo e hindi kinayang maituwid. then i thing its time to terminate him/her. Pero at sigurado na kasama yan sa mga plano ni TROPA. i think isa sya sa pampakulay ng community nyo. hello! we are at 2014 makabagong panahon na to kaya ayaw na malamang ni TROPA ng isang neutral na community. kaya its time to lvlup, its time grow more, its time to praise more, its time LIVE more. enjoyin nyo nalang ang mga araw nyong mag kakasama hindi ung kayo kayo na nga ang mag kakasama kayo kayo pa din ang nag sisiraan. eto na ang bagong panahon kung dati matutung magpatawad. ngayon matutong magpatawad at mag "RELAX".

Tinatieman

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Re: Help! Problematic Co-Servant
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2015, 11:43:11 AM »
You have good taste.